


Mulder and Scully Watch The X-Files Revival Trailer

by Scarlet



Category: The X-Files
Genre: F/M, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-24 10:33:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4916173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlet/pseuds/Scarlet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Title says it all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mulder and Scully Watch The X-Files Revival Trailer

**Author's Note:**

> This silly little piece will not make much sense unless you know the show really well along with all its in-jokes. Let's see if you can spot the Madeleine Partous reference.

_MULDER & SCULLY chill on a couch, drinking beer and munching popcorn._

MULDER: Ominous music, check.  
SCULLY: Ominous objects in space, check.  

_“It will probably start on a Friday”_

SCULLY: Crap, I have Zumba classes on Fridays.   
MULDER: Can't you reschedule?   
SCULLY: For the End of The World? Possibly. Juan is pretty strict about attendance, though.   
MULDER: Tell him the survival of fitness clothing is at stake.  
SCULLY _(shrugging)_ : I could try. He does love his neon leggings.

MULDER: Did they just say 'well-oiled'?  
SCULLY: They sure did.   
MULDER: I have a bad feeling about this.  
SCULLY: Fear you're gonna end up stuck under some chicken wire again?  
MULDER: Or having to undergo alien acupuncture again, yep.   
SCULLY: You did say it did wonder for your back.   
MULDER: After a fashion. I'm still unsure what it did for my crotch.   
SCULLY: And that's a ten foot pole I am so not going near.   
MULDER: You used to, Honey Bunch.  
SCULLY: Shut up, Mulder.

SCULLY: Oh look, alien technology and more edematous folks.  
MULDER: You know Scully, you're gonna have to learn to pronounce it right this time around.   
SCULLY: Bite me, Mulder. 

MULDER: Hey, look, that's me, with cool shades. Yeah man.  
SCULLY: ... and rocking an 'Occupy Wall Street' look, I see.  
MULDER: We Are Legion, Scully.  
SCULLY: So are they, it seems. Oh, there’s Tad. Hi Tad ( _waves_ ).  
MULDER: Followed by a phallic symbol, smooth, Chris, smooth.   
SCULLY: You're just jealous, Poopy Head.   
MULDER: Nah, he ain't soulmate material. I'm not worried.   
SCULLY: Say that to the Shippers.   
MULDER: Let them read fic. Ah, behold The Creepy Old Man. Can't have a good X-File without one.   
SCULLY  _(yawning)_ : So you've seen something and you're close. What else is new?  
MULDER _:_ Apparently, we get to ride in a Limo.  
SCULLY: I guess that’s an upgrade from the ice pods they like to stick me in.

MULDER: Hey, that’s our old basement office.   
SCULLY: And it looks like you no longer have a desk. _(elbows him)_  Karma’s a bitch, Mulder.

MULDER: Wait, did I just...  
SCULLY: ... ripped your fave poster with your boot? Yes, you did.  
MULDER  _(outraged)_ : Arrest this man! He's obviously a Bounty Hunter! I would never do such a thing!!!

SCULLY: Hold on. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY HAIR???  
MULDER: I hear it's the latest style on Zeta Reticula.   
SCULLY _(glaring)_ : Someone will pay for this.  
MULDER: Dear 1013, I hope you guys won't need the use of your left shoulder in the foreseeable future...  
SCULLY: Nope, I'm aiming lower this time.  
MULDER: Ouch. Hey, at least I've got my suit back. Lookin’ good FBI. 

SCULLY: Let's hope they gave me some killer heels to make up for this... oooh, well, hello Assistant Director Skinner, you bearded marvel you.   
MULDER: I just got very turned on.   
SCULLY  _(dreamily)_ : I bet his beard isn't scratchy.   
MULDER: We're gonna have to flip a coin...  
SCULLY: I'll take heads.  
MULDER: I bet you do. OW! 

SCULLY: Serves you right.  _(squints)_ What exactly are you doing to my shoulders?  
MULDER: Erm... checking for alien implants?  
SCULLY: In my shoulders.   
MULDER: Those aliens are getting crafty, Scully.   
SCULLY: Riiiight.

MULDER: Your car is filthy, G-woman.   
SCULLY: It's not dirt, Mulder, it's obvious the windows are steamed up. Me and A.D. Skinner must have been having a Titanic moment.   
MULDER: Or maybe I was.   
SCULLY: Wasn’t yours in a Lariat rental with Frohike?    
MULDER: I’m not even going to dignify this with an answer.  
  
MULDER:Aw, look, we still have our flashlights.  
SCULLY: Good, the darkness will hide my hair. Uh-oh, last time I saw that look on your face you were in a padded cell.   
MULDER: But, but, Scully, listen: “I know what I'm doing”.   
SCULLY: Oh, brother. I have a nine-year list worth of evidence to the contrary. Shall I read it to you? I’ve made bullet points.  
MULDER: Maybe I’ve learnt from my mistakes.  
SCULLY: Sure, and aliens just came to Earth to steal the Cronut recipe.  
MULDER: Fine, whatever.

MULDER: Oh, hi Dad.  
SCULLY: Wasn't he blown to smithereens by a missile?  
MULDER: Evil never dies, Scully.  
SCULLY: Just like this franchise.   
MULDER: Come on, don't tell me you're not excited.  
SCULLY _(pouting)_ : Does it have to start on a Friday?   
MULDER: Look, if it makes you feel better, I'll get us a sleeping bag.   
SCULLY:  Do you think Skinner knows the Lyrics for “Joy to The World”?  
MULDER: I like the way you think.   
SCULLY: I know. 

**Author's Note:**

> I was drugged.


End file.
